Sorry I couldn't finish all my ravings and rantings on life in the big city in one post -
All in all, the city is a horrible place to live, more for couples or couples with kids, than singles. If you're single, it's not as bad since you probably don't have a car, all your friends are in the same area, you don't worry about groceries, errands, etc since you just basically live out of chinese food cartons and never bother with laundry.
If not, then you're in trouble. Don't live in the city. It ain't worth it.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I love NY!!!!!!??????
You see it on bumper stickers. You see it on t-shirts. You see it on pencils, magnets, mugs, backpacks, stickers, billboards etcetcetcetcetc:
I used to think the same. Then I moved here. Living in NY is truly for the pitiful poor or the rather rich. Otherwise, it's a hellhole that you'll find yourself screaming to escape from.
We live in Queens, NYC. We've been living here for almost a year, and at this point I consider myself fully qualified to dump my bowels on the hellish experience that they call living (if you can call it living) in "the Big Apple".
Why would I hate living in the big city, you'd ask. Such culture, arts, bars, concerts, stuff to do, why WOULDN'T you want to be where it's all at? Ahh where shall I start... let me give you a taste of what daily living is like.
You own a car or two? Yes? GOOD for you! You want to live a normal life, go out every so often, get groceries, run errands? GOOD for you! Guess what? You are a prisoner in your own home in NYC (and you pay 3x normal rent for the privilege) and will curse your errantry EVERY TIME YOU GO OUT! Once you've experienced trying to find a spot to park your car, you will park that car and NEVER take it out until the next alt side day. You can or will seldom go out, if ever, out beyond your own pathetic little dirt strewn noisy 'hood. Sure, you'll take a nice, relaxing stroll through your picturesque neighborhood, listening to the soothing sounds of racing car engines and honking and cursing, and soaking in the atmosphere of litter and smelly exhaust. But you'll never venture beyond. Because you will never take that car out for fear of losing that spot...unless you go on an errand.
Ah, the errand! What is so tame, mundane and routine in the 'burbs turns into a rage inducing, hideous outing in NYC. You need groceries for the fam? What do you 'burb peeps do? You go to Acme. Park the car in the 1,001 car lot. You buy. You roll the shopping cart to your car. You load. You drive to the house, pull in the driveway. You take groceries in house. Done!
Now, for the NYC'er. You get in the car, after walking the 1/2 mile to where you parked it. You get in. You accumulate exactly 34 scratches on your front and rear bumpers while wriggling out of your pathetically tight space. You drive to the store and... drive around the block and... drive around the block, and repeat and repeat and repeat... because there are NO parking spaces to park in because there are NO lots. You park (1/2 mi away). You go into the store and buy (prices inflated 20%!). You are forced to leave your ghetto cart by these bars in front of the store since they obviously don't trust YOU to bring it back. You shlep 55lbs of groceries the 1/2 mile to your car. You return to your place and park 1/2 mi away from your place. You shlep 55lbs of groceries 1/2 mi to your place. You remember you forgot keys. You stop. You scream. You bang your head so many times against wall that you develop amnesia, if not death.
Let's say you need to get from point A to point B all outside of NYC. You get in your car and go. The trip takes 20 minutes. You find yourself on the same journey 2 weeks later; it takes 20 minutes. What do you infer?....... Anyone? Bueller?..... OK, so you infer that it takes, drumroll please, about 20 mins to drive that distance! So next time you need to go that distance, you allow, drumroll please, 20 minutes to get there! And you're usually on time, within reason.
This ain't so in NYC. If your starting point or destination or both is NYC, fuhgeddaboudit. It could take 2 hours to move 5 miles. It could take 20 minutes to move 20 miles. It could take 1.5 hrs to travel 7.25 miles. It could take 6 hours to travel 11 miles. It could take 5 minutes to drive 3 miles. It could take 3.75 hours to drive 10 miles. It could take.. I think you get the picture. You have to deal with this EVERY #$@& time you want to go anywhere in NYC or to NYC or from NYC. You have to build in 2 hours of 'traffic time' because on any given day there could be any amount of construction/accidents/volume just waiting to turn a joyful jaunt into a heart attack inducing traffic jam. Yet another reason to just stay home and do nothing.
There's a lot more. To be continued.
I used to think the same. Then I moved here. Living in NY is truly for the pitiful poor or the rather rich. Otherwise, it's a hellhole that you'll find yourself screaming to escape from.
We live in Queens, NYC. We've been living here for almost a year, and at this point I consider myself fully qualified to dump my bowels on the hellish experience that they call living (if you can call it living) in "the Big Apple".
Why would I hate living in the big city, you'd ask. Such culture, arts, bars, concerts, stuff to do, why WOULDN'T you want to be where it's all at? Ahh where shall I start... let me give you a taste of what daily living is like.
You own a car or two? Yes? GOOD for you! You want to live a normal life, go out every so often, get groceries, run errands? GOOD for you! Guess what? You are a prisoner in your own home in NYC (and you pay 3x normal rent for the privilege) and will curse your errantry EVERY TIME YOU GO OUT! Once you've experienced trying to find a spot to park your car, you will park that car and NEVER take it out until the next alt side day. You can or will seldom go out, if ever, out beyond your own pathetic little dirt strewn noisy 'hood. Sure, you'll take a nice, relaxing stroll through your picturesque neighborhood, listening to the soothing sounds of racing car engines and honking and cursing, and soaking in the atmosphere of litter and smelly exhaust. But you'll never venture beyond. Because you will never take that car out for fear of losing that spot...unless you go on an errand.
Ah, the errand! What is so tame, mundane and routine in the 'burbs turns into a rage inducing, hideous outing in NYC. You need groceries for the fam? What do you 'burb peeps do? You go to Acme. Park the car in the 1,001 car lot. You buy. You roll the shopping cart to your car. You load. You drive to the house, pull in the driveway. You take groceries in house. Done!
Now, for the NYC'er. You get in the car, after walking the 1/2 mile to where you parked it. You get in. You accumulate exactly 34 scratches on your front and rear bumpers while wriggling out of your pathetically tight space. You drive to the store and... drive around the block and... drive around the block, and repeat and repeat and repeat... because there are NO parking spaces to park in because there are NO lots. You park (1/2 mi away). You go into the store and buy (prices inflated 20%!). You are forced to leave your ghetto cart by these bars in front of the store since they obviously don't trust YOU to bring it back. You shlep 55lbs of groceries the 1/2 mile to your car. You return to your place and park 1/2 mi away from your place. You shlep 55lbs of groceries 1/2 mi to your place. You remember you forgot keys. You stop. You scream. You bang your head so many times against wall that you develop amnesia, if not death.
Let's say you need to get from point A to point B all outside of NYC. You get in your car and go. The trip takes 20 minutes. You find yourself on the same journey 2 weeks later; it takes 20 minutes. What do you infer?....... Anyone? Bueller?..... OK, so you infer that it takes, drumroll please, about 20 mins to drive that distance! So next time you need to go that distance, you allow, drumroll please, 20 minutes to get there! And you're usually on time, within reason.
This ain't so in NYC. If your starting point or destination or both is NYC, fuhgeddaboudit. It could take 2 hours to move 5 miles. It could take 20 minutes to move 20 miles. It could take 1.5 hrs to travel 7.25 miles. It could take 6 hours to travel 11 miles. It could take 5 minutes to drive 3 miles. It could take 3.75 hours to drive 10 miles. It could take.. I think you get the picture. You have to deal with this EVERY #$@& time you want to go anywhere in NYC or to NYC or from NYC. You have to build in 2 hours of 'traffic time' because on any given day there could be any amount of construction/accidents/volume just waiting to turn a joyful jaunt into a heart attack inducing traffic jam. Yet another reason to just stay home and do nothing.
There's a lot more. To be continued.
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